Skip to main content

Ashamed of sex?


In this TEDx presenation Alyssa Royse talks about sexuality and how societal shame about sex is causing lots of problems. How naming and trying to shame what is different is eventually self destructive. By pushing people away out of fear of being a part of their scary world would just damage your own view of sex. Limiting your possibility for sexual enjoyment. But by embracing what is different and accepting people your own self esteem improves. Working in sexual health I often feel myself falling into the trap of mainly talking about the possible negative consequences of sex (which yes is my job to explain STIs) but my job is meant to be more then that. My job is meant to be about helping young people develop safe and healthy sexual attitudes, that translate into safe and healthy sexual behaviour. Now I may not agree with absolutely everything Alyssa Royse says but the core message of acceptance is really important. 


One of the greatest privileges of my work is when I get to help young people when they are at some kind of key point in the sexual maturity. That may mean talking with someone about their concerns about the body image, explaining that they do deserve respect and can say no, helping a young person thinking about their first crush on someone or that they should not feel pressured into having sex. Although my job's aims seem to focus on negative prevention issues I hope I get to help young people develop healthy positive attitudes. Rejecting the idea of shaming someone's sexuality should be a core part of this.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Review of Channel 4's Sex in Class

Review of Channel 4's Sex in Class from a relationship and sex educator's perspective. In this review I will try and bring my perspective as a relationship and sex educator to look at Channel 4's one off show Sex In Class . The show is about a Belgian sexologist Goedele Liekens  testing out her approach to relationship and sex education for 15-16 year olds at a Lancashire school. You can read some great overall reviews from Jules Hillier at Brook  and  Sam Wollaston at the Guardian   of the show. In this blog I am trying to focus specifically on my my perspective as a relationship and sex educator on Goedele's content and approach.  Goedele Liekens with her charges in Sex in Class. Photograph: Matt Squire The show starts with a pretty unsurprising statistic of " 83% of kids have seen porn by the time they are 13" (source not cited) and goes on to show how teachers at this school don't think current RSE is good enough and also gives some quotes f

The need to talk about porn and release all the data

Today childline launched a new campaign (FAPZ) to help young people make sense of the powerful influence online porn can have on young people. I welcome any new or renewed effort to help tackle this issue. What ever adults personally think about adults consuming porn, it clearly is not meant for young people. Below is a tweet from Simon Blake (CEO of Brook) Agree @NSPCC we must talk about porn at home, school & community. Whatever you think about porn it is not place CYP should learn about sex — Simon Blake (@Simonablake) March 31, 2015 It is very worrying to hear Childline reporting high numbers of calls to their phone line where online porn is a key issue. And this will just be a tip of the iceberg of the influence porn is having. When I talk about Childline in high schools I have meet many young people who think its not for them because they aren't a child so they wont ring it. Such a shame.  However, the NSPCC could strengthen their campaign by releasing th

Esteem Resource Network update event materials

This is just a quick update to share my powerpoint from the Esteem Resource Network update event and link to a few resources I looked at during my research.  PowerPoint Presentation  WHO definition of sexual health Fpa Sexual Wellbeing and Pleasure document Youtube videos  50 Shades of Grey Trailer Home office rape prevention advert  Sex+ Consent video Background reading Fetish Sex: A Complete Guide to Sexual Fetishes 50 Shades of Grey reading by a Sex and Relationship Educator and if you are super keen  Fifty Shades of Grey This is a very expensive but very useful collection of articles   The Politics of Pleasure in Sexuality Education: Pleasure Bound (Routledge Research in Education)