Blindfish RSE

Thoughts on how Relationship and Sex Educators may have to respond to the 50 Shades of Grey film with young people.  2 and a half years ago I wrote a review of the 50 Shades of Grey book from a relationship and sex educator perspective . Today I saw the film adaptation with the aim to do the same for the film. 1 in 10 young people have read the novel and I am confident even more will try and see the film. This film (at least in the immediate future) will have an impact on young peoples perspective of sex and relationships and I am keen that people who work with young people equip themselves to respond to questions and concerns this film might raise. Imagine being asked by a young person "why do people enjoy spanking?" "What is fetish?" What is BDSM" "Explain 50 shades of grey?" are we ready to answer young peoples questions? This film raises issue of consent, healthy/unhealthy relationships, BDSM sex, boundaries, communication and value in sex.  ...

This is just a quick update to share my powerpoint from the Esteem Resource Network update event and link to a few resources I looked at during my research.  PowerPoint Presentation  WHO definition of sexual health Fpa Sexual Wellbeing and Pleasure document Youtube videos  50 Shades of Grey Trailer Home office rape prevention advert  Sex+ Consent video Background reading Fetish Sex: A Complete Guide to Sexual Fetishes 50 Shades of Grey reading by a Sex and Relationship Educator and if you are super keen  Fifty Shades of Grey This is a very expensive but very useful collection of articles   The Politics of Pleasure in Sexuality Education: Pleasure Bound (Routledge Research in Education)

When I write a new lesson plan or activity  I always ask myself "how would my lesson impact someone if they had... - experienced sexual abuse - been pregnant - a member of their family or themselves  infected with HIV - been questioning their sexuality - never seriously considered sex before (and I've just added) - been through the fostering/adoption system " When a write new material I am usually  writing something that I hope I could use multiple times with multiple groups and possibly over multiple years. So whilst statistically it is unlikely that every class will have people for all the above questions. It is an almost 100% certainty that most of the materials I write will at some point be delivered to all of the above.  I believe we have to plan for the 20%, 1%, the 0.1% and the 0.01%. I may never happen but if it did I want to ensure all my materials have a positive impact for everyone regardless of what others pressures that may have on their life....

Today on BBC Three Counties Radio I heard an interview with 20 year old Grace talking about her experience of being pressured into watching pornography by her then boyfriend when she was 15 years old. She was incredibly honest and open about how she felt it had negatively impacted her. If you would like to listen to the interview it will be available for a week at the BBC , skip to 1 Hour 7mins into the programme or you can read my typed up  complete transcript of the interview. In this blog I want to pick out a few of things that Grace said.  One of the first things Grace says is  So the boy I was currently dating at the time, was obviously at that age where he had been watching it since about the age of 12 and he had heard from some of his friends that they watch it with their girlfriends. So he came up with a suggestion to me and I said no and I kept saying no and then he just kept on pushing, so I then said “well ok lets check this out, I’ve never looked a...

After getting a brush off answer to start with I'm starting to get better response from my MP about why he does not vote for teaching young people about Consent.  This is just a short update on my previous post on my MP ( Stephen Mosley )  voting against Clause 20 which would have made SRE compulsory and explicitly made it clear we need to educate young people about Consent.  This sentence is at least a genuine answer, he is claiming their was not sufficient evidence and reasons. Now immediately after reading his reply I wanted to push all the evidence I could find at him so he could realise how wrong he was and how right it would have been to vote Yes and if wants more evidence I can direct him to loads. When tweeting about this the Sex education Forum replied offering help. @blindfishideas sounds like you are preparing your reply... There is so much evidence that SRE works.... http://t.co/5mJyXiyKYN — Sex Education Forum (@...

On the 11th of June the commons voted against making Sex and Relationship Education a compulsory part  of the national curriculum and specifically this amendment including the following "(1) For the purposes of this Part, personal, social and health education (“PSHE”) shall include sex and relationship education, including information about same-sex relationships, sexual violence, domestic violence and sexual consent. " My MP for Chester, Stephen Mosley was one of the MP who voted against this clause. You can read a good briefing on why this clause was so important here   by the sex education forum. This was a key opportunity to get SRE into the heart of what schools need to be providing. But MPs voted not to help young people on this issue and my MP was one of those who voted against. If you want to read more about the no vote, what it means and why it matters you can read Brook here  or read this blog post exploring how the clause may still have life in it ...

Thoughts on how SRE workers may have to respond to it with young people.  I have just finished reading 50 shades of grey. As a youth worker and sex and relationship educator I felt it was important to have an informed opinion before September when teenagers/young people might ask me questions in lessons and youth clubs. I'm a little behind the trend but spending 12 weeks travelling did take me out of touch. I have always thought it is crucial to read a book itself before commenting on it. So even though it is not my typical book I thought it was important to read it.  To be clear this book was not written for young people, it is not meant to be read by young people and I don't believe E. L. James would be happy for young people to read it. But in my experience young people love to consume (watch, read, listen) media that adults do not want them to read. Either as a form of sexual exploration or out of rebellion or for many other reasons young people have a...

The final Project I visited in Phnom Penh was Daughters of Cambodia a organization reaching out to victims of sex trafficking in Cambodia. Looking at this project and the two other sexual health related projects in Phnom Penh has made me think about writing an awareness resources for use in British school. Not sure if this would be a lesson, a part of a lesson or an assembly. Need to put some thought into it but I'm sure it would be positive for young people to gain a broader perspective.   Daughters of Cambodia looks to work with individuals who want to get out of the commercial sex industry but feel themselves trapped. The project outlines two areas of need for those wanting to get out of the industry, internal capacity (Emotional healing, self esteem and confidence) and external resources (being able to still provide food for a family for example). Using this two pronged approach Daughters of Cambodia seeks to help wom...

C hab Dai  is  a project that instead of being just a single project, works as a  coalition . A  coalition  of over 50 projects all working with the issue of Human  Trafficking .  We walked back from the Chab Dai offices under a glorious (hot) blue sky The issue of human trafficking is not limited to one country or continent but is a global issue, yet in each country it will have its own specific styles and issues. In Cambodia poverty is a huge driving factor in people ending up being trafficked.  The sensationalised media accounts of trafficking usually shows people being snatched and dragged away in chains. This is far from the common way people end up in the trade. Helen Sworn (the coalitions International director, who we got to meet and talk with) estimated that less then 2% of trafficked people have that sort of experience. Most trafficked individuals are trapped by much more subtle approaches.  For example,...