Skip to main content

The Relationship Pyramid

I have based this exercise on the Intimacy Pyramid from the Oasis Esteem Programme. I have used lots of the same words but have added some extra words and changed some wording.

Simply the exercise works by getting the class into groups of around 3 or 4 and giving out the cards (holding back the cards that say sex).
- Ask the groups to pick the top 10 cards that they would want in a good friendship.
- Ask them to put the card into a pyramid with the most important card at the top.
- Go around the group and ask them to feedback the top 3 cards in the pyramid.
- After everyone has feedback, point out how similar people's top 3 cards are. Encourage the group that although we are all different we are all looking for similar things in friendships.
- Now get tell the group to make the pyramid into a romantic relationship by adding 3 cards and remove any cards they think should not be in a relationship pyramid.
- Ask groups to feedback the 3 cards they have added and explain the positioing of at least 1 of the new cards.
- Then give out some sex cards (the 5 cards on the bottom of the page). Some people will choose not to include the 4 cards describing 4 distinct sexual activities some may just use the simplified card saying "Having Sex". Make your decision based on the group you are working with.
- Ask the groups to decide if they think these cards should be included in a relationship pyramid. Let them spend a lot of time discussing the question. You can also encourage them to think about if they believe as they got older sex may get more important.
- Encourage groups to feedback what they have decided, (I don't recommend you force every group to feedback, as some individuals may be uncomfortable). It may also be appropriate to encourage the class to discus the different groups decisions.

Finish the exercise by reminding everyone that their are no right and wrong answers, we just want to encourage people to think about what their priorities are in relationships. I suggest its worth saying that sex is best kept for a relationship built like a pyramid and that this happens best in a long term/marriage what ever your pyramid look likes.

Now to make this exercise well you have to know the cards well. Don't aim to make sure everytime you do this exercise you will get young people making the same pyramid. There aren't right answers to this exercise. The process is more important then the pyramid. It helps young people think and talk about their priorities in relationships.  So if you use this exercise be flexible and look at the cards you are using, work out what cards you will use.

Below I have posted a jpg version of these relationship pyramid cards and a word document version below if you would like to change, remove or add your own cards.

[caption id="attachment_23" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Cards for a SRE exercise"][/caption]

Relationship Pyramid

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sources and reading from " 5 cool things AI can do for your youth work (and what's coming next)" workshop

Thank you if you came to my workshop at NYMW 2023 about how youth workers might consider using AI within their work. Obviously there is a lot of areas we could have looked at. We only scratched the surface, especially around the ethics. But with the current attention on generative AI I hope it was useful. Below I have included both a copy of my slides and links to some further reading/research about the topic.  Slides Download a .pdf of the slides here Edited further reading and research list Atlas of AI (2022) Crawford *. A good book about ethical aspects Automating Youth Work: youth workers views on AI (2023) Pawluczuk . EU study into the attitude of youthworkers towards AI Blood in the Machine (2023) Merchant *. Who were the Luddites and why did they hate new technology  Here's What Ethical AI Really Means (2023) Philosophy Tube . Long form video essay about the ethical aspects of AI, especially in regards to the creative arts   How AI chatbots like ChatGPT o...

A RSE reading list

Sometimes people ask me what reading I recommend around RSE, so I thought I would put together a bit of a list.  Key (free) articles and reports  Young people’s RSE UK poll  Sex Education Forum (2018) RSE outcome variations due to facilitator differences  Young et al (2018) What do young people think about their school-based sex and relationship education? A qualitative synthesis of young people's views and experiences Pound et al. (2016) Review of sexual abuse in schools and college s Ofsted (2021) National and International RSE Guidance  UNESCO international guidance on RSE  UNESCO (2018) England   Department for Education full guidance on statutory relationships education, relationships and sex education (RSE) and health education  Department for Education (2019) Wales Curriculum for Wales guidance and code for Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE)  (Consultation stage) Welsh Government (2021)  Scotland  Guidance for teac...

50 Shades of Grey reading by a Sex and Relationship Educator

Thoughts on how SRE workers may have to respond to it with young people.  I have just finished reading 50 shades of grey. As a youth worker and sex and relationship educator I felt it was important to have an informed opinion before September when teenagers/young people might ask me questions in lessons and youth clubs. I'm a little behind the trend but spending 12 weeks travelling did take me out of touch. I have always thought it is crucial to read a book itself before commenting on it. So even though it is not my typical book I thought it was important to read it.  To be clear this book was not written for young people, it is not meant to be read by young people and I don't believe E. L. James would be happy for young people to read it. But in my experience young people love to consume (watch, read, listen) media that adults do not want them to read. Either as a form of sexual exploration or out of rebellion or for many other reasons young people have a...